Aso

Before and After You Drink

Give Jologs More Respect than This entry from Wiktionary

Jologz, jologs

Noun

jologs

1. A young person from the squatter area, usually a teenaged male or female.

   May mga jologs na nakatira duon sa may creek

   Some punks live there in the creekside slums

2. Any person deemed to be acting, exhibiting behaviours, in a manner similar to the commonly observed behaviour of slums teenagers.

   `Wag ka nga magulo, jologs ka ...

   Hey cut it out, you're being jologs...

[edit] Adjective

jologs

1. gaudy, unelegant, without refinement in taste.

   pang-jologs na damit, pang-jologs na abubot

   Typical jologs getups, gaudy accessories

[edit] Related terms

• skwaking
• (is)tambay
• panggulo
• gago
• adik
• coño
• konyo

[edit] Verb

jologs

1. make a complete jackass of oneself (to do something without refinement)

   Gusto kong magwala, jumologs ...

   I wanna go wild.

2. to punk; to play practical jokes on people for cheap thrills

   Jologin natin siya.

   Let's punk him/her.

3. to backstab (compare definition 2 above)

   Jinolog mo ako!

   You stabbed me in the back!

Tom Babauta

While reading about the 30 Top Female Bloggers, I realized that one of those who compiled the list was named Leo Babauta. Hmmm. Of course, I recalled Tom Babauta. So where was he? I searched and got mostly Ige Ramos. Until this from dyesebel:

Filmography


Actor:

1. Strangers in Paradise (1983)
I couldn't stop laughing when someone requested pictures of Tom Babauta. Yes that gay icon of a hunk in the 70s, who was imported from Hawaii to star with teenage actress Snooky Serna in Stranger in Paradise, apparently to match the Maricel Soriano-Danni Vanni [another hot import who got famous locally in a TVC mixing his Sarsi cola with egg, for crying out loud!] tandem.
Tom Babauta in local gayspeak means "I'm hungry" apparently a take on gutom [hungry] . But in the 70s Tom Babauta was a person, a B-list actor famous for that urban legend about his schlong. For years, nothing much has been heard about Tom. Apparently he was the toast of Manila in 70s showbiz for having, well, a big moa kākala or manu kamaāina. Rumors abound that he was the male model in that big painting in the abandoned Film Center about that naked Filipino in the myth Malakas at Maganda, with Coca Nicolas as the female counterpart.
[To digress a bit, Coca Nicolas was one of the three softdrinks beauties then who lorded it over at the Experimental Cinema of the Philippines. The three, Coca, Pepsi Paloma, and Sarsi Emmanuel starred in the disturbing sexploitation flick Snake Sisters, which was remade years later with Sunshine Cruz as one of the sisters. Snake Sisters told the story of three cloistered and skimpily-clad mountain maidens who competitively fornicate with the visiting lowland hunk, to the point of murder. Plausibly, this movie spawned the Tagalog idiom inahas which meant inagaw as in Inahas mo asawa ko! And no, there were no softdrink beauties by the name of RC Rosal or Fres Gusto Francisco!]


Back to Tom Babauta. He is now a married man, employed at the Hawaii Employee Assistance Services [HEAS]. Picture below is a recent photo of the hunk. Here's more info about the guy, from the HEAS website:



"Tom received his masters in Social Work on 1994 and has worked in the mental health field in various capacities. Tom started his career with Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse as psychiatric social worker and moved to Psychiatric Social Worker supervisor position.
Currently, Tom oversees the Division of Special Education Program for students with Emotional Disabilities. Tom is a licensed Individual, Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice with Family Pacific.
Tom is married to Bobbie San Nicolas and is the proud father of 4 children. His two oldest children have developmental delays. Tom is actively involved in the disability community. He has served as the Chairman for the Guam Developmental Disabilities Council for the last three years. Tom also is a member of the Guam System of Care Council and Vice Chairman for Guam Mental Health Planning Council."


I'm not so sure how old he is now, but judging from the studio picture, he still would work wonders in local showbiz, just in case he wants to come back.

Tom Babauta.JPG
1 Comment

Tags: tom babauta, dyesabel2005, hunks, foreign, regal films

The Eye-Mo Version

The Viral Video of the Year (Thus Far)

Since the Cebu inmates can not come out with something Thrilling and "You are my brother" has done the Vegas rounds. Meanwhile, this sibling cannibalism already got 35 million hits. Charlie Bit Me...Again



There are a lots of adult remix responses but the best so far are the Filipinas metalmouth and the Japanese cats .

Miss Gay Introductions

In Miss Gay pageants, it's not enough to say, I'm Ms. so and so representing so and so. Mabuhay or Good evening! You have to funny, witty and bading. Here's some examples:

Gutom ako, Gutom kayo, Gutom tayong lahat. Miss Hungary!



Ola Viola! Kaserola tinola saranggola arinola ni Lola. Vee nezhuelah!


Boom! Kaboom! Kablam! Afganistan!


Malay mo! Malay ko! Malay nating lahat. Malaysia



Baha dito, baha doon. Baha sa buong mundo. Bahamas!



Hindi sa akin. Hindi sa iyo. Kanino siya? (altogether now) Kenya!


One way. Two way. There's no other way. Norway!


Sing ka na. Sing ka pa. Ilabas ang MagicSing. Singapore!


and finally.....

Mula sa bayang kulang ang bigas
Sandamakmak ang mandurugas
Pilipinas!!

Jologhetti: Salamat kay Elmer

Pulang-pula ang ispageti. Mas marami ang sauce kaysa sa laman. Halatang hinaluan din ng ketsup ang "sows" para kumapal at dumami. Sinahugan ng maninipis na hiwa ng hotdog. Maraming sibuyas na pula. Panaka-nakang giniling na baboy. Ga-dangkal ang haba ng noodles. At higit sa lahat, manamis-namis. Kung minsan pa nga, ubod ng tamis. Para na siyang dessert.

Metlog Swimsuit

Forget about the debate about the new swimming outfit and the Olympics. That is so passe. This is the real thing.

The Jologz Ten Commandments for Concert Viewing

1) Tawagan ang isang kaibigan na alam mong naiiyak at can’t afford manood, naiiyak at naubusan ng ticket, kaibigang gusto mong inggitin o di kaya walang tiwala na can afford ka, clueless sa pangyari. Tawagan mo siya at iparinig ang concert. Saka mo patayin ang cellphone. Do this six times to six different friends.

2) Magdala ng napakalaking placard o di kaya tarpaulin ng “Manilyn R Fan’s Club, La Union West Chapter.” Bakit walang nagdadala ng mga placard ng “Christian Bautista, Muslim Ako. Magtago Ka Na!” o di kaya “Gabby Concepcion, Maliit Pa Rin ang Titi Mo Kahit Nag-Vegas Ka”

3) Ilabas ang cellphone at ilagay sa harap ko nang makunan si Piolo 100 meters away. Kahit ano pa iyan hindi iyan papanoorin. May dala ring lighter kahit hindi nagsisigarilyo o di kaya kandila at posporo.

4) Hanapin ang pinakamalapit na videocam, isigaw sa mike, “Ang galing-galing ni Sam. Promise” sabay tili.

5) Huwag pumalakpak kasi nakakahiya. O di kaya feeling mayabang: Kasimbaho din natin ang utot niya. E ano? Sarah Geronimo naman siya kahit umutot.

6) Pumalakpak sa gitna ng “Rachmaninoff No. 5” ni Cecile Licad kasi nagpause.

7) Naghihintay sa gilid ng stage para ialay ang sampaguita kay Sitti. Bakit si Sampaguita noong kasikatan niya ay iba ang binigigay? Damo?

8) Hintayin ang packed lunch at kaunting pera sa concert ni Mikey Arroyo. O sa ibang concert noong eleksyon.

9) Manood ng concert ng mga laos na American and British acts at umiyak. Feeling.

10) Ipa-autograph ang CD na nabili sa Quiapo.

The Laoag City Scandal

The parents of the minor-age couple caught making love inside a movie theater in Laoag City have met up last Saturday and are forcing them to marry each other to save their families' honor or not see each other again.
After recovering from disbelief that the two were engaging in casual sex, the parents scolded them.
The boy is 18-years-old and the girl is still 17. They were unnamed in all reports but texting did what the news sources can't do.
The couple were caught by a security guard of a theater with their pants down.
The guard known by his initials as G.P. reported the two to the police because he said that they "scandalized" him.
He said that they the last aisle of the balcony was already quaking. G,P. then turned on his flashlight and found the two in an compromising position.
G.P. said that he would have let the incident go but the boy told him they were not doing anything wrong.

Karaoke in MySpace!

You're sitting at home online and suddenly you get an irresistible urge. You absolutely have to belt out R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" and share it with the world.

You now have that ability, thanks to the new MySpace Karaoke, to be launched Tuesday by the social networking site.

MySpace Karaoke (ksolo.myspace.com) debuts nearly two years after Fox Interactive, a division of News Corp., which owns MySpace, purchased the karaoke site kSolo.com. The combination of MySpace and kSolo allows users to upload audio recordings of them singing everything from R. Kelly to Richie Valens to their profile page.

MySpace co-founder and president Tom Anderson (known by many as the friend who comes automatically with a MySpace account) said MySpace and karaoke are a natural fit.

"It is in part because music is so popular on our site," said Anderson. "But also because karaoke is such a fun and social thing, which is what we're about too. It's not as much fun to go to karaoke alone, but when you do it through the Internet or on your MySpace page, then you can share it with people."

Recordings can be prominently displayed on one's MySpace page and receive ratings from friends (and, presumably, fans). As of Monday afternoon, the most popular song to sing was Sarah McLachlan's "Angel."

MySpace Karaoke and kSolo — the first major karaoke site — are just two destinations of a small industry of online karaoke sites. SingShot, owned by Electronic Arts, and Bix, owned by Yahoo!, are also big names in karaoke on the Web.

And YouTube has, of course, been the largest repository of people dancing around their bedrooms and singing their favorite songs. While MySpace Karaoke doesn't currently have a video option, Anderson says it's in the works and that it will include a split-screen duet feature.

Users need only a microphone to sing into. MySpace Karaoke gives them the music to sing over (with vocals removed) with the lyrics scrolling across their computer screen. There are also numerous effects that users can play with to alter their recordings.

Right now, the site has between 2,000 and 3,000 songs available, all of them licensed from music publishers. The difficulty of managing those rights has been the reason for the delayed launch, Anderson said.

"It was quite difficult," he said. "The rules and the licensing changed over time and became more complicated since MySpace is a global company. There's different rights in different territories."

But Anderson thinks having those rights puts MySpace at a distinct advantage.

"On MySpace, we actually filter and take down content (without licensing)," said Anderson. At some point, unlicensed services will probably have to follow suit, or risk legal action, he added.

As recordings have begun to pile up, there's a wide variety of quality.

Said Anderson, "You'll find equally horrible and equally good ones." - AP

Four Pauls

Use four Pauls in a sentence:

Paul, be carePaul, you might Paul in the swimming Paul.

Saudi's not Quiapo Despite the Mosques

A Filipino allegedly operating a movie house showing obscene films in the Al-Sinaiyah district in Jeddah was arrested by Saudi authorities following a raid last month. Saudi Arabia's Committee for Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice discovered, after a concerned citizen's tip, the establishment showing pornographic movies to mostly Filipino patrons. Consul General Ezzedin Tago said that a "liquor factory" was also found in the area, allegedly also owned by the Filipino. The equipments were confiscated following the unidentified Filipino's arrest. Tago warned Filipinos in Saudi Arabia to avoid engaging in illegal activities so that they may not end up in jail. He also assured that the consulate will do its best to assist the arrested Filipino in Jeddah.

The Cebu Scandal Letdown

When the story first broke (aray!), it said a perfume bottle was inserted. Siyempre, I was thinking on these lines.


















It would indeed call for exquisite pain favored by the Gucci Gangsters

































Only much later did they change it to canister. Hmm, iyun pala:

Paul Anka Jologizes Nirvana

One Liners for Metlogs and Rurogz

If you used these, you are certified jologz. If someone used these to lure you, he is jologz. If you agreed, you are all jologz. Ang saya saya:

Minamalat na naman ang puso ko. Paano kasi laging sinisigaw ang pangalan mo!

Ikaw ba may-ari ng Crayola? Ikaw kasi nagbibigay ng kulay sa buhay ko.

Uy papicture tayo! Para ma-develop tayo!

Kung ikaw ay bola at ako ang player, mashushoot ba kita? Hindi, para lagi kita mamimiss.

Can i take your picture? Coz i want to show Santa exactly what i want for Christmas!

Exam ka ba? Gustong gusto na kasi kitang i-take home eh!

Lecture mo ba ako? Lab kasi kita.

Miss pwede ba kita maging driver? Para ikaw na magpapatakbo ng buhay ko.

Mahilig ka ba sa asukal? Ang tamis kasi ng mga ngiti mo.

I hate to say this but... You are like my underwear. Coz i can't last a day without you!

Ibibili kita ng salbabida. Kasi malulunod ka sa pagmamahal ko.

Pwede ba kitang maging sidecar? Single kasi ako eh.

Me lisensya ka ba? Coz you're driving me crazy eh.

I'm a bee. Can you be my honey?

Nakakatakot di ba ang multo? Pero mas nakakatakot kapag nawala ka sa buhay ko.

Am i a bad shooter? Coz i keep on missing you.

Naniniwala ka ba sa love at first sight? Oh gusto mong dumaan ulit ako?

Mabilis ka siguro sa mga puzzle noh? Kasi kakasimula pa lang ng araw ko, pero nabuo mo na agad.

Pustiso ka ba? Kasi, can't smile without you.

Me butas ba puso mo? Kasi natrap na ako sa loob, can't find my way out!

Hey, did you fart? Coz you blew me away!

Sana T na lang ako. Para I'm always right next to U

Are you Jamaican? Kasi Ja-maican me crazy!

Ako ay isang exam. Kaya sagutin mo na ako.

Favorite Subject mo ba Geometry. Kasi kahit saang angle ka tignan ang ganda mo eh!

Grabe nakakatawa yung mga pick-up lines noh? May alam ka pa bang iba? Wala na akong maisip eh. Coz all i ever think of is you.

Willie Nep, You are so Dead

Bakit kamo? Rep. Faysah Dumarpa, together with Reps. Carlos Padilla of Nueva Vizcaya, Solomon Chungalao of Ifugao and Mujiv Hataman of the Anak Mindanao party-list, filed a bill penalizing those who mimic or imitate enthnolinguistic groups in an insulting matter. The bill also seeks to prohibit religious or racial discrimination against Muslims and other members of ethnic minorities. You are asked to pay a fine from P200 to P6,000 or a jail term of between one month and six years.

Betlogs as PMA Parents

Here's a list of names of PMA plebes accepted for the Beast Barracks:

Arango, Defherson Amor
Bangcal, Gister
Bobiles, Dickensol
Estabillo, John Maverick
Jovellano, Jay-Ar
Malabago, Jick
Malijan, Frann-Crist
Ocsona, Emil Knievil
Oronan, Alge
Ricardel, Mcgyver
Romorosa, Jonald
Coronel, Rainy Grace
Reserva, Xy-Za Chloe
Ubaldo, Dofelyn

Famous Movie Lines

Ayoko nang tinatapakan ako! Ayoko nang masikip!! Ayoko nang mabaho!!!
Ayoko nang walang tubig!!!! Ayoko nang walang pagkain!!!!!
Ayoko nang putik!!!!!!


Alice Dixson: Mamamatay ako pag kinuha mo sa kin si Alex
Lorna T: Ipalilibing kita
Alice Dixson: Ate please...

Hindi siya aswang. Mabait siya!!!!

I. Did not kill. AnybodEH!!!

Maricel: Sampid ka lang dito!
Lorna T: Diba pareho lang tayo? Pinulot sa lupa?

...and i've made a stupid mistake of falling in love with my bestfriend!!!!

Sharon: Oo, ate. Oo, ate. Puro na lang ako "Oo, Ate"!!!!
Para akong manikang de susi!!!
Inilagay kita sa pedestal
Iginapos mo pati puso ko!!!!
Lorna: kung iginapos mo man ang puso mo, ang akin, pinatay ko!


Cynthia Luster (after rescuing her sidekick with a sidekick): "Who are you?"
Sidekick: "Yes!"

IPAGTIMPLA MO AKO NG COFFEE. WALANG SUGAR. BLACK!!!!


Albert: Hoy, anong gagawin ko sa itlog na to?!
Vilma (enraged): Amputang ina, gawin mong manok!

"Ganyan talaga ang buhay, Lola, parang gulong
MINSAN NASUSUNOG" Booba


.

You are a Metlog in Brian's World

If you post anonymous posts like "Go, Brian" or "I'm praying for you, Brian."

Japanese Betlogs: We are the World!!!!

Pinoys could have done a better plakang-plaka job but hey, the Japanese are funnier. Cindi Lauper is freaky and Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder are not only blind but they are sumo wrestlers in disguise. That is the real Michael Jackson, for sure!

Methlog

Death of a Betlog

Grace texted me that a sister's good doctor friend's uncle died. The dead in his last will wanted the soundtrack of "Electric Dreams" be played throughout the funeral. "Maybe he was inspired by the San Pablo (Laguna) dr who wanted Bikining Itim played in his funeral. If you would die, would you choose among these?
Of course you won't, you're a metlog, remember?

Hongkong's New Slimming Secret

I don't want to be Xenical but Hongkong is actually going really retro with their slimming secret. Want to know more?

Sex and the Metlogs

“Hi im rhommel….my favoerits are… surfing with GMA…sex…..mining with Lucio Tan….. sex…… tree climbing with my Monkey…sex…. gambling with my dog named PUSSY!!!!!…. sex…. collecting condom of various sizez colors and flavors…. did I mentioned SEX????!!!!”

If your name is Jhologs, Does that Automatically Qualify You to be One?

• JHOLOGS ROXAS
  
• Female, 28, Single
• Interested In: Friends
• Member Since: Oct 2004
• Location: Philippines
• Hometown: Meycauyan, Bulacan
• Company: TDC (not the supermarket)
• Last Login: 2 weeks
• Jhologs's URL:
• http://profiles.friendster.com/13023975

"petite......ei, friends, MFVM can you fill this one out for me?"

• GORDON JOLOGS
  
• Male, 17,
• Interested In: Friends
• Member Since: Sep 2007
• Location: Philippines
• Hometown: anything
• Company: none
• Last Login: 2 days
• gordon's URL:
• http://profiles.friendster.com/51139660

Sing-Along With President Arroyo and Her Fave Carpenter Song

This is PGMA's favorite Carpenter song which she sang with Richard Carpenter on piano and Claire dela Fuente, former Karen voice-a-like-turned-bus-operator-president last VD. And as it turned out, a lot of metlogs also love it:
mhyco23 said: yes this song is owsome coz my friend in manila give this to me,and when im sad i always listen to this song,i love this song very much,and now im here in USA,SO very sad here,hay bhang,its me fujiko.i nevr forget this song!!!!!

We Killed Friendster. W00t!

Carmen de Jesus. Who? He he he

Last June, the US business mag, Inc., came out with an article, "How to Kill a Great Idea!" written by Max Chafkin. It had this come-on:

Jonathan Abrams created the first online social network and enlisted Silicon Valley's best and brightest to run it. Yet Friendster flamed out spectacularly. What went wrong?

Friendster was actually awarded a patent as a "system, method, and apparatus for connecting users in an online computer system"

"The beauty of Friendster was its exhaustively complete network. Every time a homepage loaded, Friendster's servers calculated a single user's connection to other users within four degrees of separation, which could mean hundreds of thousands of individuals. Because the network was constantly changing as new users joined and connected with one another, these calculations had to happen on the fly--in what would eventually amount to trillions of rapid calculations. The effect was to give users a vivid sense of how they fit into their social groups as well as into the larger world. Abrams, it seemed, had created a piece of software that could tell us who we were," Chafkin wrote.

"Friendster is among the few start-ups that changed the world--but not as its founder had hoped. During March 2007, one out of every five Americans visited MySpace.com, a copycat site that was built in 2003 by Intermix and sold to News Corp. (NYSE:NWS) two years later for half a billion dollars. Those MySpace visitors listened to music, scoped out crushes, made plans with friends, decided that Stephen Colbert was cool--and in the process altered the way we think about and use the Internet. Meanwhile, Friendster fell to 13th place among social networks in the U.S. and saw its market share decline to 0.3 percent," it said.

What went wrong?

Yes, please. Blame it on the Pinoy.

"Lunt remembers marveling sometime in early 2004 at how Friendster's traffic would mysteriously spike at 2 a.m. Intrigued, he started looking at the site's log. Oh, my God, he thought, everyone is from the Philippines. He worked backwards, looking for "patient zero"--the first American to "Friendster" a Filipino. He found Carmen Leilani De Jesus, a 32-year-old marketing consultant and part-time hypnotherapist from San Francisco, the 91st person to join Friendster. She was directly connected to Abrams as well as to dozens of Filipinos, who'd in turn connected to thousands more. In fact, more than half the site's traffic was coming from Southeast Asia.

From a business standpoint, the revelation was devastating. Friendster, it turned out, was paying millions of dollars a year to attract eyeballs that were effectively worthless to its advertisers. Says Abrams: "We needed to make a tough decision"--either spin off the Asian business or become the No. 1 Filipino social network. But because the Filipino users had come by way of their American friends, there was no easy answer. If Friendster cut the cord to Asia--either by drastically cutting back on engineering resources or by kicking the Asian users off the site altogether--it risked damaging its American user base. The Carmens of the world might look for a less restrictive site."

Boxing Rurog

It's normal to root for Pacquiao in boxing. Rurogs is rooting for Pacquiao in things other than boxing.

Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places

Kung Metlog Ka, Isa Dito Matatanggap o Finorward Mo

i wish i was ur blanket,i wish i was ur bed, i wish i was ur pillow underneath ur head,i wanna b around u,i wanna hold u tight, & b the lucky person who kisses u goodnite

8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning... i love you

Uve won my luv now I luv u.This heart of mine I give 2 u.So keep it safe as i have done.For u have 2 and i have none!

There are a million stars and a million dreams, you are the only star for me, the only dream i dream

i dont have the measels, i am not confined to bed, asperin wont help coz i aint my head, i dont have back ache or the flu, its more serious...i am missin u!

Ull always be mine 4 now & 4ever.Ull always be mine 4 u r my treasure.Ull always be mine please tell me its true.Please be mine 4ever ill always luv u

There are Tulips in my garden,there are Tulips in the park.but nothing is more be beautiful then our two lips meeting in the dark!

one day the moon sed 2 me, if your lover makes you cry why dont you leave your lover.. i looked at the moon n replied would you every leave your sky?

I love 3 things! The sun, the moon and U! The sun for the day, the moon for the night and you forever!

if i died or travelled far, i'd write ur name on every star,so everyone could look up & see, dat u mean the world 2 me

Wantin u is easy missin u is hard.Wishin u was wiv me wrapped up in my arms.Constantly think of u wen we r apart.Ive got the padlock u hav the key to my heart

How can u tell the rain not 2 fall wen clouds exist?How can u tell the leaves not 2 fall wen the wind exists?How can u tell me not 2 fall in love wen u exist?

Accidents do happen.i slip- i trip- i stumble- i fall & usually i dont care at all.but
now i dont know what to do cos i slipped and fell in love with u

Love is like a golden chain that links our hearts together and if you ever break
that chain youll break my heart 4ever!xxx

When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star, don't wonder why,
just make a wish. Trust me, it will come true, because I did it and I found you

True luv is hard 2 find.Special 1-1 of a kind.But the luv inside of me is true.It
appeared the day i met you!

It takes 2 to tango.2 to kiss.2 to talk & remenisce.so many good things cum in
2 & one of those things is me & u!

U say u luv me & want 2 hold me tight.those words run thru my head day &
nite.i dreamt u held me & made me see dat 4ever 2gether we wood be!

1000 words 1 cood say.1000 wishes 1 cood pray.1000 miles legs cood walk.
1000 sounds a mouth cood talk.1000 times ill b true.1000 ways 2 say i luv u!

Ive got ur bak & uve got mine.ill help u out netime.2 see u hurt 2 see u cry.makes
me weep & wanna die.ill b right here til d end.cos ur my luv & my bestfriend

You can fall from a bridge, you can fall from above, but the best way of falling,
is falling in love!

There are 3 steps to happy happiness: 1 you. 2 me. 3 our hearts 4 eternity!

Joelogs

Blame it on Pico Iyer's Video Nights in Kathmandu. Though this travel book by Iyer was written decades ago, it still remains a classic. His "Born in the USA" is on the Philippines and how our dreams were set American on rock n roll. He interviewed singers and waiters who were working on bars singing plakang-plaka the Top 40 hits or waiting for an American hero in these songs to take them away from the slums. I still meet Americans who think the Philippines is everything Iyer wrote. Then the myth kept on repeating.

The Metlogging of Your Hometown

Having gone around many rural towns through the years, I found an effective gauge: look for the fast-food franchises. Hoping these franchises made their market research, they start depending on their target audience's taste. So here's my theory:

First comes Frank's Burger. There is a real Frank here. He is Frank Bautista and his franchise is usually the milestone that the town has made it e.g. a mere blip in the F7B screen. They are set on the national highway and are open all night so that villagers would have a place to wait for the bus to take them away from their rural life. Sometimes it's the goto stands with their usual 'clever" names like Goto Heaven, Goto Hell etc which comes in.

The first major franchise is Mr. Donut. Usually, they start as a small outlet with a crew or two and about six choices for donuts. Then when the town progresses, they come out with a table or two, then they bring them inside. Five years ago in the capital town of Bangued, Abra, Mister Donut is the only place to be there. In my father's hometown in Bangui, it is still Mr. Donut.
After them, it's either McDo or Jollibee which comes in. In Candon City, McDo came first. In Vigan, it was Jollibee. Now because of the merger, Greenwich comes next when Jollibee is doing good. In rurogville, Jollibee is faring better than McDo. Then, it's usually Dunkin Donut or Red Ribbon which makes their entrance.

What pains me is when I see the local eateries die in lieu of these markers for progress. Maybe it's the betlogs in me. But no, I still crave for the empanada of Batac, kalamay of Candon, Pancit Cabagan or Habhab, gamet cakes in Bangui, the sinanglao of Vigan and all these dishes that make travel a return back in time and palate.

Music 1

Rurogs (Aegis)

Metlogs (Cueshe)

Betlogs (VST & Co)

This one is a no-brainer. Time can't unhinge the jologness of VST & Co while Cueshe still reeks of jologness. Rurogs are usually belters, because they give everything to the God of Jologness.

Anti-Rurog

Fil-Am doing the Wowowee sign. Fil-Ams patronizing this show, giving away dollars for Willie Revillame thinking they are helping the Great Unwashed, have blood in their hands. So how's your Ferrarri, Willie?

Choy's Kababayan. Metlog from nAVOetAst

>>Hometown: nAVOetAst
>>About Me: aqOuh?? .. cHimPle LAng.. bUT cAn maKE yUr hEAd tURn,, *HoTcHiC**sEXy dAw..cHAvii nG mGAh fWEnDz qEw .. sVi qEw nAMn.. mAdAnDa aqEw.. maArTE?/..sObra* *hiHi.. nDi mHEii mAarTE.. kAla nYOuh lAng yUn,, kSHi cHigURo .. yU fOUnd mE.. wEAriNg uNiqUe eAriNgs.. USing mAkEuP.. oWeYs lOoKing mY fACe in tHE miRRoR.. mAarTE bAh yUN?

>>who i want to meet: "xA aCcoUnt qEw..kHit cHiNU pwEde.. kHit ikA'y mUkhang .. tAtaNgAPEn kiTAh bsTAh bAH TEZti cOUh aAhh"

Top 50 Ways to Know Whether You’re a Martial Law Baby or Not:

1. Una mong nakita si Herbert Bautista sa Ka-luskos Musmos at nag-tataka ka kung bakit nahi-hirapan si Dranreb Belleza na bigkasin ang titik “R.” Lalaking-lalaki noon si Dranreb.

2.Ang major car accessory ay ang musical backup horn.

3. Digman ang pina-kasikat na halo-halo.

4. Bumibili ka ng Vick’s candy -- hugis-trianggulo, regular and kalamansi flavor. Ang mga candy/bubble gum na bilog na iba’t ibang kulay ay lima singko. Iyong puro pula na bubble gum ay cherry balls.

5. Nakabibili ka ng Greenwich pizza na kalahati lang, at aliw na aliw ka sa vendo machines dispensing softdrinks in a cup (waxed paper) and not in cans. Kung tumagilid ang baso at natapon ang binubuhos na softdrinks eh pasensya ka.

6. Nagpalit ng theme song ang John en Marsha to the tune of Michael Jackson’s Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough. Nagkaroon na sila ng aircon sa barung-barong na bahay pero front cover lang pala.

7. Baduy na baduy ka sa opening ng TODAS (Television’s Outrageously Delightful All-star Show) sa Channel 13, with Val Sotto, Spanky Rigor, and Freida Fonda.

8. Sina Bibeth, Mang Tem-i, Miss Tapia, Mary at Tonette Macho ang mga kasama ng TVJ sa Iskul Bukol. Kumpleto pa ang ngipin ni Richie D’Horsie.

9. Nakikipag-debate kung sino ang mas magaling... si Officer John Baker or si Officer Frank Puncherelo sa CHIPS.

10. Inaabangan mo kung anong gagawin ng A-Team para makatakas at makabawi sa kalaban nila. Ano ba ‘yan, wala namang namamatay na kalaban kahit na anong pagbaril o pagsabog?!

11. Bagong labas lang ang bakya na rubberized (Happy Feet brand) para malambot, hindi na kahoy.

12. Uso ang Espadrille na sapatos, Crayon shoes at Grosby rubber shoes. Bagong labas ang top sider na sapatos. Sperry at Docksides pa lang ang tatak na U.S. Wayferer (orig o fake) ang shades mo -- feeling Don Johnson, Remington Steel, o Madonna.

13. Ang walkman mo o iyong nakikita mo ay halos kalahati ng laki ng AM radio. Marami kang nakikitang malalaking cassette/radio player na galing Saudi. Pinapatugtog mo ay mga tapes na pirata na may lyric sheet pero mali-mali ang lyrics.

14. Kapag 25 centavos ang ibinigay mo sa nagkakaroling na mga bata eh hindi ka kakantahan ng “Thank you, thank you, ang babarat ninyo, thank you!”

15. Cloverleaf ang usong term at hindi flyover.

16. Singko lang ang isang fishball. Wala pang squid ball o kikiam.

17. Magaling ka sa Math, kasi, mayroon kang ballpen na mataba at may built-in multiplication table na iniikot. Iyong ballpen na napakaraming option sa kulay ng tinta, karamihan ay hindi makita o natuyo na ang tinta.

18. Texas bubble gum na kahit anong gawin mo ay hindi maaalis sa buhok mo kung mapadikit.

19. Gusto rootbeer, Sunta and Mirinda orange, RC Cola, and Sarsi with egg with Danny Vanni -- masarap na, masustansya pa.

20. Watching the Caronia nail polish advertisement sa TV with the 4 pa-sexy girls.

21. On Sundays, watching music videos on VH1 or Video Hit Parade (wala pang MTV sa Pinas) before, then Spin-A-Win (Jean Young) at lunch time Lovingly Yours (Helen Vela, Channel 7) or Happy Days and Electrawoman & Dyna Girl (Channel 9) in the early afternoon, Superstar (Nora Aunor and German Moreno, Channel 9) at dinner time, and capping it all off with Marvelous Golden Movies (MGM).

21. Archie Lacson as dancing guru sa Discorama with Bobby Ledesma and Tito, Vic and Joey. Ngayon, si Ralion Alonzo na sa Easy Dancing.

22. Lotlot, Lotlot and Monching. Lotlot and Friends. That’s Entertainment. That’s Entertainment Saturday Edition.

23. Uncle Bob’s Lucky 7 Club show on Channel 7. Bakit ganoon lang ang mga premyo niya?

24. Bob & Emmy Garon featuring the houses of the Marcoses — “That’s my wife... Emmy.”

25. You had a P2 bill (color blue) in your wallet. Puro ganoon pa ang ibinibigay ng lolo/lola tuwing Christmas.

26. Ang piso na dirty ice cream ay iyong matamis na apa na ang ginagamit at marami pang scoops, minsan ay may chocolate dip pa. Bring your own baso sa skrambol pero hindi pa uso ang powdered milk at chocolate syrup.

27. Ang standard greeting ay “give me five” na nag-evolve into “appear.”

28. Biggest name in ice cream ay Magnolia kaya inaabangan mo ang susunod na Flavor of the Month. Papel lang ang mga balot ng frozen delights, hindi pa foil except iyong vanilla ice cream wafer sandwich nila. May sundae sila na tinatanggal ang top cover at inilalagay sa ilalim para maging base.

29. Kapag dadalo ka sa b-day party ng bata, imbes na regular b-day cake eh Magnolia ice cream cake ang mayroon (carousel or iyong puro bulaklak).

30. Ang Christmas package na inuuwi ng magulang mo ay may kasamang malaking keso de bola at hilaw na chinese ham (buong leg na nakabalot ng craft at plastic na net na kulay pula).

31. JD (red and black), MCL (Blue and Yellow), DM (white and blue) bus lines, Love Bus (the only aircon public bus). Pati na rin iyong bus sa Quiapo na walang pinto pero open iyong isang gilid. Dito daw natutong mag-stuntman si Lito Lapid.

32. Pumupunta ka sa music store para tumingin ng LPs, 45, at Jingle magazine o Songhits. Pwede mo lang pakinggan ang plaka kung bibilhin mo na.

33. Ang bakla lang sa showbiz ay sina Georgie Quizon (utol ni Dolphy) at Sandy Garcia (mestisohin na may bigote, kulot ang buhok, at balbunin).

34. Nagkakabuhul-buhol ang chord ng remote control ng betamax ninyo dahil buong araw kang nanonood. Break mo lang ay para kumain, mag-CR at para lumamig uli ang betamax unit. Madali pang dumumi ang head kasi hindi pa uso ang rewinder. Kung mayroon na kayo eh one way lang siya — rewinding — wala pang option na forward.

35. Pinakamabentang poster ay kina Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garret, Bruce Lee, Scott Baio, Farrah Faucet, Phoebe Cates at Bo Derek (kuha sa movie na 10). Kung sosyal ka, showbiz magazine mo ay Tiger Beat. Kung baduy ka eh Jingle Extra Hot.

36. Pinapanood mo at pinakikinggan ang Menudo with Robbie Rosa as the most sikat of all members. Nakukyutan pa lang kayo kay Ricky Martin, kasi siya ang pinakamaliit.

37. Pag nilalagnat ka, Royco chicken noodle alphabet soup ang kinakain mo — hinahaluan mo ng dinurog na Skyflakes.

38. Hearing Bert Tawa Marcelo’s laugh — bawat tawa eh P50 daw ang talent fee niya.

39. Shutting off your TV and watching that white spot on the middle of the screen slowly disappear.

40. Pagandahan ng metal lunchboxes (various cartoon or movie themes) matching Aladdin or Thermos brand na madaling mabasag ang loob.

41. Sumasakay ka sa jeepney na puro kabayo ang hood, tadtad ng mahahabang antenna, at halos natakpan na ang windshield ng 8-track na tapes.

42. Watching and listening to the We Are The World version of the Philippine National Anthem.

43. Watching movies at Cinerama sa kanto ng Recto at Quezon Blvd. (Isetan na ngayon), Delta and Circle theater sa Timog Ave. and Quezon Ave., Rizal Theater sa Makati (Shangri-La Hotel na ngayon), Magallanes Theater (giniba na) .

44. Drinking Mango Brutus nang madalian sabay sakit ang ulo dahil sa sobrang lamig — brain freeze.

45. Buying Cattleya notebooks, Funny Friends scented ballpens, and other school supplies at Alemar’s and Gibson’s bookstores.

46. Lahat ng PBA at Holiday on Ice ay ginaganap sa Araneta Coliseum. Hindi pa uso ang “ending.”

47. Lahat ng waiters sa Shakey’s Pizza Parlor ay may suot sa styropor na sumbrero (yellow with red strip of paper with Shakeys printed on it). May mini version pa sila para sa dulo ng antenna ng radyo o TV. Panonoorin mo pa kung paano ginagawa ang pizza sa viewing window nila.

48. Be sure to be home by 12:00 midnight. May curfew,kasi, Martial Law.

49. Sa Quiapo at Binondo pa pupunta para makabili ng talagang masarap na hopia. Tapos, shopping ka na sa Good Earth Emporium at Sta. Cruz (Uniwide na ngayon) and be amazed by their candy selection on trays in a conveyor-belt type of machine.

50. Maalikaya when it first opened. When it was first raided and closed. When it was re-opened. When it was re-raided and closed. When it was opened again. When it was raided and closed again. When they opened it again. When they raided and closed it again. When...

Etymology Muna

The etymology of jologs was widely discussed, but the undisputed authority on this is poet Paolo Manalo, who is anything but. Metlogs is also a known portmanteau and was even made into a movie. For "rurogs", I can only cite Choy Pangilinan, the uber-p/f/gunk of Navotas and UP Diliman and Baguio. "Betlogs" was coined by me and Ed Cabagnot while drinking at Cafe Leona in Vigan.

Why is Breeks Rurog?

Both are definitely jhologs but Breeks insists that his girl should be real. Get real, boy! In Friendsterville, there's no such thing. Such naivete definitely makes him a rurog

Rurog Friendster Profile 2

>>Favorite Music: stay w/ cushe, the day u said gudnyt w/ hale, kahit pa w/ hale again, specialy 4 u w/ MYMP, tell me y it herts w/ MYMP again, love moves in mysteriuos ways w/ NINA ehehehe !!!!

>>About Me: im a person n siryoso pro happy ksm en i dont like sa mga pipol n plastik gus2 ko ung dldl pro my sence ung cnsabi en real... im sure n mag kksundo tyo!!! practically i want pretty girls but honestly i like mostly girls who are nice to accompany and not malandi ...waaaaah i hope i cud fyn special one

Metlog Friendster Profile 2

>>Hometown: TaGuiG..ThE FLazE To bEE..MaHoGanY
>>Occupation: boniFiEd and cErTiFied HeavEn ringEr..aLpha MaN..
>>Affiliations: aFiLL-FuLL and ThuguFuLL..ThEY r grEaT jusT 4 onE nigHT buT iM grEaT evErY nigHT!!

Friendster Lecture # 1

Why is mHariZa metlog and gritreziel hill rurog? The photo of m was made in a mall while g's was not. M is a collage student and g is going beaches and window shopping. Metlogs don't window shop now. They mall. The disturbing thing about g is she posed on the foot of a bed. That is unusual. Was she inviting us to the bed? or was the photo taken in a motel? Why was she using gritreziel and later confessing that her name is Maricel? That is also a giveaway. Maricels are rurogs.

Rurog Friendster Profile 1

>>Occupation: looking a job
>>Hobbies: dancing, chatting, reading book, outting outdoors (
>>Favorite Book: The Purpose Driven in life
>>Music: fashions
>>About Me: i'm maricel.. who loves serving the Lord...i love dancing.. singing... going beaches... outings.. goin out.. window shopping..

Friendster Metlogs 1

>>Occupation: collage student

>>Movie: the ant
>>About her: ahm.......about meeh!!!??? ATTITUDE? kind,suplada minsan.. pro most of da tym mabait meeeh..., makulit, lagi na nka-smyl ngaun... talented pa! i can dance. i can sing....i can fly basta ba my wings, eh...he!he!he! OUTLOOK? syempre maganda,noh! alangan nmn laitin k ang sarili koh...height koh? 5'3'' ASSET KOH? my legs sbi nila.... taken na meehh....... ...should i say yes!?

Rurog

Rurog is the inclination to overdo art. Also includes the ability to overemphasize the fact that art is useless. Or maybe the rurogs just have too much time in their hands. Or in this case, too much newspaper.

Metlog Party

Why is this metlog?
a) junkfood
b) junkfood in baptism
c) white monobloc chairs
d) all of the above